The Best Musicals You’ll Never See

I often wonder about the moment when someone is inspired with a concept for a Broadway musical.  It probably sounds so good in their head until they have to share it out loud and convince other people.  Okay, how ’bout this?  …An entire show where everyone is dressed up like lemurs!…  What do you mean you don’t “get it”?  They sing and dance!  C’mon, man!…You’d prefer CATS?!  Oh, that’s brilliant.

Somehow even the ridiculous ideas end up being successful shows.  Tough New York gangs spontaneously burst into song and dance numbers.  A creepy guy with a pie crust on his face stalks an opera singer. 

Thankfully, people keep coming up with ideas.  But there are some that will never make it to Broadway.   And many more that I can guarantee you will never see…

REAL MUSICAL FAR OFF-OFF BROADWAY YOU’LL NEVER SEE…
1776 1976 1776 B.C.
42nd Street Elm Street Back Alley
A Chorus Line A Chorus Zig Zag Whiny, Unemployed Dancers
Annie Rich Bald Guy Annie’s 2nd Cousin Twice Removed
Anything Goes Nothing Stays Nobody Really Gives A Rat’s Behind
Beauty And The Beast Babe And The Ugly Guy Princess And The Walking Fur Ball
Bye, Bye Birdie See Ya, Shuttlecock Don’t Let the Door Hit You On The Way Out, Birdie
Camelot King Arthur! Starring Dudley Moore Knights Of The Cheap Card Table
Carousel Tea Cup Ride Space Mountain
Cats Dogs Lemurs
Chicago Springfield Jailhouse Rock
Damn Yankees Damn Red Sox Damn Mighty Ducks
Fiddler On The Roof Bagpiper In The Basement Accordion Player In The Attic
Footloose Foot Cramp Athlete’s Foot
Grease Grease Stain Lard
Guys And Dolls Guys And Stuffed Animals Guys Who Play With Dolls
Hairspray Hair Gel Hairball
Hello Dolly! Goodbye Dolly! Dolly Who?
High School Musical Junior High School Musical Elementary School Band Practice
How To Succeed In Business w/o Really Trying How To Step On People On Your Way Up the Corporate Ladder How to Run Your Business Into The Ground
Into The Woods Into the Bushes Lyme Disease:  The Musical
Jekyll & Hyde Hyde & Jekyll Jekyll & The People in His Head
Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Joseph and the Leather Jacket   Joseph and the Plain White T-Shirt
Kiss Me, Kate Text Me, Kate Let’s Just Be Friends, Kate
Les Miserables Really Unhappy French People Kleenex Convention
Miss Saigon Miss Ho Chi Minh Miss Viet Cong
No, No Nanette Maybe, Nanette  What Part of No Don’t You Understand, Nanette?
Oklahoma! New Jersey! Albania!
Oliver Pickpocket That Kid With The Porridge
Once Upon A Mattress Once Upon a Futon Once Upon a Sleeper Sofa
Peter Pan Skippy Extra Crunchy Jif
Rent Rent Control Lease To Own
Shenandoah Hudson Euphrates
Singing In The Rain Singing in the Drizzle Singing in the Tsunami
South Pacific North Pacific South Arctic
The Music Man The Accountant The Taxidermist
The Phantom Of The Opera The Phantom of the Disco The Ghost of the Roller Rink
The Sound of Music The Sound of Woodpeckers The Sound of Snoring
The Wiz The Idiot Not the Sharpest Knife in the Drawer
The Wizard of Oz The Wizard of 7-Eleven Dude Behind the Curtain
West Side Story Upper East Side Story Northwest Passage Story
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