For those of you who thought you were linking to an actual recipe for Schnitzel with Noodles, I apologize. You can probably just toss some schnitzel together with some noodles, and you’ll be all set. To make it healthier, you can use Low Fat schnitzel. ( I don’t really know what schnitzel is, but it is fun to say, and I encourage you to say it as many times as possible during this holiday season.) Disclaimer: Please do NOT be confused by the title and actually add Scotch tape to your schnitzel (there, I said it again).
I was actually referring to a line from the song “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music:
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels;
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles.
If any of you have never seen this movie, I have made up for it by watching it for you a million times. If you want I could just come to your house and act out every role from the entire movie, including the yodeling and Austrian accents.
For some reason, “My Favorite Things” counts as a Christmas song. While this brings new meaning to the word “sketchy,” I am a fan of the song. First of all, name one other song where you get to say both “schnitzel” and “strudels” in the same verse. I also appreciate that this song is essentially a list of someone’s favorite things, as women love making lists. The list is wonderfully descriptive, although I don’t agree with most of the choices:
Raindrops on roses (If it’s raining, I’m not at the beach.)
Whiskers on kittens (I’m allergic…to whiskers, not kittens.)
Bright copper kettles (I use the microwave.)
Warm woolen mittens (Too itchy. I prefer a cotton/polyester blend.)
Brown paper packages tied up with strings. Aha. I agree that it is exciting to receive a brown paper package. But tied up with strings? My mind flashes back to my childhood, where Christmas morning was filled with cries for help trying to open gifts tied with ribbon that even a beaver couldn’t gnaw through. Sure, strings and ribbons look pretty, but it is almost cruel to give someone a gift they can only open with a blowtorch.
This year I received a brown paper package that was covered in enough packing tape to repair a jet engine. In these sort of situations, there’s not much you can do to get the present open, short of backing over the present with your truck. Or, if you have a toddler, let him open it. Toddlers can even open child-proof bottles.
When wrapping gifts, the value of Scotch tape is underestimated. Not only is the smell divine (right up there with schnitzel, I’m guessing), but it opens very easily. Any time I can open a gift without a tool box, I’m grateful. Yes, Scotch tape makes me proud of my Scottish heritage. (Also, schnitzel is Austrian, and I’m German. Whoa…)
I admit that sometimes I’m too lazy to cut more of the wrapping paper to the size of the gift, so I wrap it around several times with enough paper to make shelter for a small village. But the beauty of this move is that you are forced to use up an entire roll of my beloved Scotch tape.
So, as Christmas approaches and you are wrapping your gifts, please prevent cruelty to humans and forget the superfluous strings, ribbons, and superglue-like packing tape. Use a ridiculous amount of Scotch tape, and let the pleasant aroma mingle with that of your gingerbread and Christmas cookies. And, of course, the Schnitzel with Noodles (see recipe above).